Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Still Here!

No, I didn't fall off the face of the Earth. Just been dealing with the nitty gritty details of being recently unemployed. Do something with the retirement account, decide on COBRA or Obama-care, but more importantly, relax and recharge from a job that had drained me more than I even realized.

The retirement account has been dealt with and satisfactorily so. I did decide on COBRA - I'm sorry but the plans I saw under Obama-care really sucked. I take a very expensive drug for my Diabetes and since it's on everybody's tier 3 formulary, it just wasn't worth the saving on monthly premium to have to pay over $1000 at least twice before anything got paid. A copay of $70 for 90 days is much easier to swallow.

Sorry. Rabbit trail. Where was I? Oh, yeah. This is a writing blog. Supposed to be writing about writing.

Well, not much of that has been done in the last few days, either. However, I have been thinking about what has already been written and I've come up with a few of what I hope are better ideas for further rewrites. Nothing dramatic, just a change of venue for the some of the scenes and a way for my hero and heroine to meet that is hopefully a bit better than what I've got down now.

A lot has changed for me in other areas since being a full time writer working from home. I'm losing stress pounds right and left without even really trying. I don't stress eat any more, which is really helping. Not even binge eating while watch Amazon Prime. I play solitaire on my Kindle instead - unless my computer is refusing to stream, in which case, I watch Prime on my Kindle and play a game on the computer. Either way, both mind and hands are occupied so neither one gets the idea to grab hold of food to binge on.

Actually, I think the binge eating was stress eating from dealing with the idea of having to go back to a stress filled job the next day.

My only real problem lately has been giving myself permission to just do nothing if I want - just for the rest of this year, mind you. Come January 2, 2015 the daily writing requirements begin along with the training for becoming a paid copy writer. I felt I really needed to let go of the past before I could take that first real step toward my future.

And it surprised me to learn how difficult it truly is to just do nothing.

I've been working since my senior year in high school, way back in the dark ages - ok, graduated in 1978 just a couple of weeks before I turned 18, you do the math. So, the sense that I should be doing something is quite strong in me right now. Let's face it, doing nothing doesn't pay all that well.

In all honesty, I probably don't want that sense that I should be doing something to go away. Might lead in a direction that isn't good. Still, even a writer who writes every day without fail needs to relax occasionally. Makes me wonder if the pros ever not write at times. I guess it's a personal preference. I know with me, if I skip a day or two of writing, it's harder to get to it when the time comes.

Does that mean I'm just procrastinating here? It's hard to know. My friends say I need to just relax for the rest of the year. My family - well, they really haven't expressed any opinions. My mother just asked me this morning if getting things ready to put up a Christmas tree was worth it. She did ask me this question right after I'd gotten out of bed so my response was not to ask me in the moment because the answer would be no. I'm feeling better about that right now, by the way. Totally worth getting a tree up. We didn't do one last year. Or the year before, for that matter.

And it just hit me what else is bothering me. It was about this time about four years ago that I lost my last fur baby - my dog named Wren.

He had been having small seizures and the Monday before Christmas that year, I had to take him in to the Vet's office for the last time. He must have had a grand mal seizure at some point during the night. I got a call from my mom that morning that something wasn't right. When I got home, I found him with his eyes constantly trying to roll back into his head. He was still alive and somewhat aware. It wasn't really a hard thing for me to do. I knew that our time together was up and that this was the last, best favor I could do for him.

So, yeah. Probably another factor to how I feel right now. I do still miss my little Wrennie Poo but he was 13 at the time and had lived a very good life by spoiled dog standards. I would love to have another dog but the circumstances right now just aren't the best.

My plan is to spend the next 2 weeks relaxing - even if it kills me. I have a game that I've had for a while but haven't played much. It's the kind of game that really forces careful thought and strategy or the character will instantly die in combat. It's one of those turn based games where you can choose an enemy to fight if you come across them in the wild. They don't chase you down - at least, they haven't yet. With some of the enemies, it's possible for a character to die with the first blow so choosing carefully is essential. I like these kinds of games because they do involve the mind in a way that it can let go of everything else for a while.

Trouble is, I also find these kinds of games hard to stop playing. I'll just explore this next area or fight this next battle. One reason I'm trying to get into the habit of setting an alarm to remind me that it's time to stop playing and move on to something else.

On the other hand, because part of the mind is focused in this one area, it gives the rest a chance to mull over any plot issues or scene problems. I usually find resolutions for those problems while playing one of these games so this has become a part of my creative process. I had this kind of synchronicity happen while working, too. I always kept some kind of notes going on while working. Didn't always use them but they were there if I needed them. In fact, in my earlier years at my former job, I would be able to write in my head while performing my main task. I somehow knew when my fingers made a mistake and could go back and correct it then move on. Many of my story ideas came to me during that time.

And now that I'm just rambling, I'll quit and move on to something else. I'll still be doing some writing during the next 2 weeks but probably not every day.

To everyone who observes Christmas I say Merry Christmas. To those who do not or who observe one of the other holidays during this time of year, I say Happy, Merry, Good-Whatever-It-Is-You-Celebrate. I guess Happy Holidays would cover all of that, wouldn't it?

Just in case I don't make it back here before 2015 - Happy New Year to all with the hope that everyone can attain their fondest dream in the coming year.

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