Don't know if anyone else reading this can relate but when the finances are in limbo, panic might just set in. As it did for me this week. Savings only lasts so long and living costs money. When no money is coming in...you get the idea. This is when the rubber meets the road and a decision must be made - to try and stick it out and hope something good happens or go out and make something good happen.
To alleviate one burden on my shoulders, I have shelved the novel in favor of working toward becoming an actively working copywriter. I'm putting myself through a refresher of the courses I've taken and actually doing more of the work this time than I did last time. They said it was really important and I have become a hardcore believer.
In an effort to become that actively working copywriter, I prepared to apply to one of those writing sites where a writer can get paid to complete writing assignments. It's not going to be the same kind of money I've been told can be made as a successful copywriter. Not even close. But it will give me experience as well as build up some confidence - which I'm seriously lacking at this point. I'll also end up with some good writing samples to pad my portfolio.
Part of the application process required a sample of my writing. I could choose up to 3 categories and write 500 words for each. Thankfully, one of those categories is beauty and since I do write a beauty blog, one would think that one would be a no-brainer. Wrong. My brain went completely blank. As it did with the other two categories I chose, about which I should be able to speak prolifically - games and food. Yeah. Not so much. Total blank there as well.
As you can probably guess, this did not help the panic setting in at facing a financial crisis.
However, I do have resources to help me get back on track. I'm sad that the novel has to take a backseat but it is nowhere near ready for publication and even if it was, there's no guarantee it will make anything much less the kind of money I need to meet my monthly obligations.
I spent so much time working on the novel and not practicing my copywriting, that I lost some of the ability. The skill of copywriting is like any other skill. It must be practiced. Sports players have to practice their skills in order to compete. Musicians have to practice in order to play their chosen instrument. Singers must practice their talent as well in order to keep their voice in top condition. Shouldn't writers also need the same practice to hone their skill to the highest quality? Darn right.
So, practice, relearn what was once known, do the work to attraction the attention of potential clients - this all needs to be done and done quickly. Like my savings, this year is almost gone. Do I really want the year to end without having done what I set out to do in January?
Of course, there is one option and it makes me shudder to even put it to voice. I could look for another cube job. I was pretty good at the last one but do I really want to go there - even for a short period of time? I feel anxiety come on even thinking of it.
But (and I'm going to get a little religious on you right here so stop reading right now if that kind of thing offends you) God is good and He is in control so I need to not panic and just do what I know I can do of what needs to be done and trust the He'll take care of the rest.